I was listening to the radio on my way to work last week. Yes, I work a day job now as the director of business development and sales training for Grant Morgan. But I digress, I was listening to the radio on my way to work and the host was going on and on about something called, “Stiletto Spy School.” It’s a workshop offered in Vegas where ladies pay upwards of 3000$ to learn sexy secret agent techniques. Techniques that you can bring home to “WOW” your man, or any man for that matter. Some of the classes include using a fire arm, mixing martini’s, exotic dance moves, and the tricks of the gambling trade. Apparently women are flocking to this weekend getaway in order to enhance their seduction skills.
At first I thought nothing of this latest gimmick. Then I realized something very important. There were no classes on baking. There were no classes on how to be polite. There were no classes on watching his TV shows, laughing at his jokes, and how to be available when he wants to see you. You know why? Because those things aren’t hot! I think this seminar, or whatever you want to call it, is a actually a fab idea. Simply because exactly what makes you hot to a guy has everything to do with you and nothing to do with him. Women are overly concerned with what men are thinking. They spend their day worrying about how he feels and trying to win him over. On top of that, they use the wrong ammo for that battle. They rely on sugar, spice and everything nice. But guess what? Those things aren’t hot. And in the beginning of a relationship that is what a guy wants : HOT. He wants to be turned on by you. He wants to feel the urge to tackle you to the floor. That urge is not brought on by domestic displays of affection. So baking him a cake on the second date is not going to make him want to jump your bones. Being elusive and not calling him back for a day though, will. One of my friends treats every guy she dates like a girl friend. She thinks she has to call a guy back right away, or he may get the impression she doesn’t like him. And she worries if he thinks that, he will move on. She also thinks round the clock texting, cooking, cleaning, follow-up thank you calls, and thoughtful gifts are all streamlined ways to man’s heart. Hear me now, these things are just not HOT! They are nice, and once you are IN the relationship they will be appreciated. Until then, you don’t need to answer every text message. You don’t need to send an email on Monday thanking him for dinner a second time. You don’t need to lure him to your apartment with the promise of a foot massage, or help with his laundry. Instead try whispering something sexy in his ear mid-way through dinner. Try smiling at him like you have secret that you can’t tell him until later. It’s not the grand gestures that will get him excited, it’s the little things… witty conversation, and a great sense of humor. A girl that can laugh at herself is worth a million bucks. If you think your communication skills are rusty, don’t despair. Try a few time tested tactics: A wink from across the room, a touch on his shoulder as you walk by, a flirty look as you check him out from head to toe. Those are the things that will make a man putty in your hands. Remember he’s a MAN, not your girlfriend. Know your audience.
