War of the Roses: when it’s your fault you were cheated on

I had a blog all ready this week for you guys. Then on my way to Barnes & Noble this morning, I heard something on the radio that made me want to pull over and bang my head against the steering wheel. When I have that kind of reaction, I know that it’s something I need, no, must write about.

I was listening to the Kane show on 99.5. For those of you who aren’t familiar with one of his bits called, War of the Roses, allow me to debrief you. Listeners of the show who believe their significant other is cheating on them, call into Kane in order to find out if in fact they are being betrayed. Kane pretends to be the manager of a local florist and calls up the suspected cheater. He tells the cheater they have just won a dozen roses and all he needs is a name and address of who to send the beautiful and romantic bouquet to. Pause. This is when said cheater either gives Kane the name of their boy or girlfriend, or blurts out the name of their side dish (fyi, this always turns out the same way.) When the side dish is named by name, the SO who has been on the line the whole time either breaks down into a full on fit or…well, actually that is usually what happens. They start screaming, crying, and cursing all at the same time. But this morning I heard something I have NEVER heard on the Kane show before. I heard something that made me want to reach through the radio, grab the caller and shake some much needed sense into him. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I think the cheater is scum and feel bad for the other person, but I can honestly say I side with the cheater this time.

Take a listen to this War of the Roses.

How painful is that?!?! Omg. I can’t believe that guy. Please, if anyone knows this guy tell him to contact me. I want to give him a full Man Make-over. This guy has a long life of loneliness ahead of him. Mark my words, he’s going to suffer the same fate in his next relationship as well. If you know someone, male or female that acts like this, please send them the link. They need to learn that this type of sad behavior will NEVER make someone love them. Love and respect must go hand and hand and this guy clearly has no respect for himself. If you are in a relationship where you give, give, give and the other person just takes, takes, takes, I’m sorry, but you have no one to blame but yourself. He calls her selfish? He’s a doormat and a dummy. Unless you are 16 and have zero dating experience, you should be able to recognize when someone is using you. Doing nice things for someone will not make them love you. Giving them gifts, taking them on trips and catering to whatever they want will only make them lose respect for you.

I thought the most interesting part of this whole bit was when the guy said, “we have a life together… how can you just throw it away?” And she replied, “what life? We haven’t had a life together in a long time.” It’s funny how one person can think a relationship is going well and the other person can be completely checked out of it.

If you think your SO is cheating on you, there are some easy signs to tip you off. This guy talked about his GF’s change in behavioral pattern — buying sexy panties and going out more often, but there are other subtle signs. My advice though, is to not stick around in a relationship long enough for this to happen to you. I swear some people need to be hit over the head with a frying pan before they realize the reality of their relationship. But here’s a tip: If you start sensing you are not as connected as you use to be, or feel taken for granted more often than not, then cheating is usually what you can expect next. Check out this earlier blog about the signs you are in a relationship of convenience. If this sounds like you, either run for the hills or put Kane on speed dial. You are going to need him.